Open RP

[voltzmann]

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[voltzmann]

being the only lumberjack somewhere automatically makes you the best good thinking very strategic

that's the spirit!! handling tits is kinda the point clearly you're a natural.

[mostlyajerk]

That's me. I can't chop trees, but I can make you think I have.

I don't think I could handle-handle them. Damn it, back to finding men.

[voltzmann]

💔😢 but I feel like we both grew as people during your experimental phase and if you moved to Iceland how could I carry your tiny angry body out of bar fights?? it's better this way.

[mostlyajerk]

I'm not that tiny. But I'll concede the point.

And keep dating dicks, I blame you.

[voltzmann]

ok so what you really need is a dick detector to find the non-dicks in the sea of dick-having dicks

OR. shots.

[mostlyajerk]

A dicktector.

Sorry. Channelling someone I know. Shots sound more plausible on short notice.

[voltzmann]

shots are a medical necessity if you're making up puns like that who have you been hanging out with 😖

[mostlyajerk]

I've not been hanging with anyone, I'm a lonely hermit. Just an old coworker likes to name everything, so it came to mind.

[voltzmann]

come be a lonely hermit with meeee work with us GHOSTS ARE REAL HOW IS THAT NOT AWESOME and we get so much chinese food

old coworker you say

[mostlyajerk]

I would, but I'm writing a research paper on the tooth fairy right now. Also, I prefer Thai.

Yes, from before I fell into professional disgrace for being right.

[voltzmann]

yeah that guy died right?

might not be a deal breaker. just saying. if you still want to kick his ass maybe I know a guy.

it's me I'm the guy. because ghosts are real. just like I always said.

[mostlyajerk]

The guy that fired me died. Not the coworker with the penchant for naming things.

Sure, ghosts exist. But what about my Thai preference?

[voltzmann]

I'm just saying
if we run into that guy who fired you again
the dead one
I'm beating him up for you 💪

Thai sounds so good right now let's get some

[mostlyajerk]

I believe technically he was erased from existence, but I appreciate the thought. I'll get right on hero worshipping you.

You're aware that I'm not the one that can run fast enough to get to New York in a flash?

But even if we got some, I need to know: how are you with spice?

[voltzmann]

that's my boy 😘
I'm good with spice. so good with it. me and spice we're very tight 🔥👌

[mostlyajerk]

Good, because you look almost as white as I do, so I wasn't certain.

Next time we can meet up, Thai food. And ghost stories, apparently.